12 lessons learned from a life on the road

Traveling is hard work. Here's how to make the best of it
Rule No. 1: Travel is no fun
Really. If you think it’s all about smiling stewardesses attending to your every whim, friendly hotels offering fawning service, and romantic sunsets on the beach, it’s time for a reality check.

Your stewardess will probably stop smiling when you refer to her as one, because no one calls a flight attendant a stewardess and gets away with it today. Your hotel? They’ll be pleasant until you check out. The moment you complain about that surprise $20-a-day resort fee or the $5 charge for receiving a fax, then the grin on the manager’s face will tighten into a grimace of icy resolve. You’ll hear insincere apologies, but you will probably still pay.

And the sunsets on the beach? Last time I went to the beach, there was a hurricane.

Point is, travel can be hard work. Travel can be hard, period.

But when you do it for a living — when you’re a true blue, card-carrying, sleep-deprived business traveler — you learn the ropes quickly. By the time you’re a million-miler, and maybe sooner, you know travel isn’t always fun but you also know travel can be tolerable.

What lessons can you learn from these veterans of the road? I asked some of the most experienced travelers I knew to tell me what traveling has taught them. Here are a dozen of them, in their own words:

Expect nothing
That way, you won’t be disappointed. “Lower your expectations when you travel,” says Steve Powell, an Internet consultant in Orlando. It’s great advice, considering a recent Travelocity survey that found a near total disconnect between what air travelers expect and what they get. As a result, nearly two-thirds of the respondents said they would avoid using an airline altogether if they had a comparable choice. Ouch.

Be nice
Lisa Wiser, a computer consultant from Indianapolis, learned about the power of nice when her flight to Pittsburgh was delayed by weather. The gate agents looked stressed, so she bought them a $7 box of chocolates. “They looked up at me and said ‘What’s this for?’” she remembers. “I said, ‘Because it isn’t your fault, there’s nothing you can do ... but you will be catching hell for this all evening.” No only did she receive two food vouchers, but she also got an unexpected upgrade to first class. It’s true — nice pays.

Never pay cash
Wendy Margules, a real-estate agent from Newtown, Conn., lost $6,000 when she reserved a villa in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. “The owner asked us to wire transfer the money and fax the contracts back to him right away, and we did,” she says. “Ten weeks later, there was no villa — and he was gone.” Putting your travel purchases on a credit card offers you some protection. Margules could have disputed the charge and received a refund.

Travel light
“The single most important lesson I’ve learned is, pack light,” says Michael Hollander, a manager of a marketing company in Torrance, Calif. “Ask yourself: ‘Can I live without this?’ If the answer is yes, leave it home.” This is particularly important, given that airlines are losing checked luggage at an epidemic rate, while some are beginning to charge their customers a fee for all checked luggage. The less you take, the less you pay for. And the less you can lose.

Have a Plan B
No matter how simple your itinerary, no matter how many times you’ve traveled the same road, no matter how sure you are that nothing will go wrong, don’t go anywhere without a backup plan. “You need a Plan B,” says Alan Brill, an information security consultant from New York. Sometimes, a backup plan can be as simple as looking for another way out. Case in point: a recent flight from Minneapolis to New York, which was canceled for mechanical reasons. It was the last flight of the day. “Long line of yelling passengers,” he remembers. Brill went to another counter, explained his predicament, and was immediately handed hotel vouchers, meal vouchers, and a ticket on the next day’s flight.

Be skeptical
“Don’t believe everything you read,” says Timothy O’Neil-Dunne, a managing partner for a technology consultancy in Claymont, Del. That applies to pretty much anything, from airline schedules to guide books to travel columns. “Do not put your ultimate faith in them. You will be disappointed,” he adds. Which isn’t to say they are totally untrue. O’Neil-Dunne says you should use them as a guide, instead. (As someone who writes a travel column, and has gotten it wrong a time or two, I completely agree.)

Don't trust a reservation
Inga Smith, a photographer from Columbus, Ohio, learned that lesson a few years ago, when her flight was delayed and she tried to check in to a Holiday Inn. “My room was given away to someone who arrived earlier than I did,” she says. “I was sent to another hotel, which was a real dump.” Getting something in writing helps, but always call to confirm. That’s particularly true for an airline reservation.

Visualize first class
Most of us are stuck in economy class, but not all of us stay there. How do people snag upgrades? Well, one of the secrets of frequent travelers is to look the part. “I wear a sport jacket,” says Jason Hupe, a project manager from Long Beach, N.Y. “If they are doing upgrades, then you have a better chance of getting one.” This is true. I’ve spoken with several airline folks who have admitted they’ll pick someone who looks like he belongs in the forward cabin.

Join the club
Even if you don’t plan to collect frequent flier miles (and my advice is to avoid becoming a collector, because points are as addictive as they are useless) you should still become a member of a loyalty program. Rick Damiani did, and it made his trips go a lot smoother. “Before signing up, I was getting selected for additional screening by the TSA,” says Damiani, an applications engineer for and educational computing company in Los Angeles. “But since I became a member, I’ve only been selected twice.”

Keep a photocopy of your passport
It will help you get a replacement much faster when you’ve lost it. Candice Sabatini lost her passport in Paris recently, but was able to secure a replacement within hours because she had a photocopy. “Now I’m always telling others to make sure they have a photocopy of their passport — just in case,” says Sabatini, a publishing consultant in New York.

Get plenty of rest
Travelers tend to be sleep-deprived. And worse, they’re often unaware of how tired and cranky they’ve become. Peter DeForest, a risk management consultant based in San Rafael, Calif., says the importance of a good night’s sleep can’t be understated. “Get some rest,” he advises. “In the morning, you’ll find that what set you off was maybe pretty minor and can be overlooked.”

Enjoy the perks
Despite all the recent cutbacks, travel still has a few things going for it. And even a few freebies. Don’t look the other way when they’re offered. “I steal the soap,” admits Jim Daniel, a traveling salesman based in Stockton, Calif. “I carry a preferred bath soap and shampoo, so I always throw the hotel amenities into the bag with dirty laundry. When I get home, I put them aside to donate to a local homeless teen outreach program.” Again, I’ve spoken with hotel people and they don’t mind their guests taking the soap. That’s who the soap is for, after all.

So there you have it — 12 tips from the people who are in the know. Take their advice with you on your next trip, and you never know. You might actually have ... fun.

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5 worst things that can happen to a traveler

What’s the worst thing that can happen when you’re traveling?

A traffic accident? Terrorist hijacking? Hotel fire?

Travel is risky, of course. But there’s just no way of knowing when your number will be up, and your plane will go down.

There are other worst-case scenarios that aren’t as random. I’m talking about preventable incidents that might — and probably will — happen to you on your next trip. Things you can anticipate. Things you should anticipate.

Here are the five worst, along with my suggestions for sidestepping them:


1. In the air: a creeping delay
Have you ever sat in a terminal — or worse, on a plane — and been assured by a bored voice on the public address system that your flight will leave “any minute”? Then, half an hour later, there’s another announcement promising “just ten more minutes” until wheels-up. Followed by an update half an hour later that you’ll depart in a few moments?

It’s called a creeping delay. Airlines used to do their best to prevent them because they drove passengers quietly mad. But this year, strangely, creeping delays have been re-imagined as a tool to deflect the anger of air travelers and divert attention from the incompetence of air carriers. With each update, another party is blamed for the delay: air traffic controllers, the weather, lack of available gates. By the time the flight actually departs, passengers are so confused that they don’t know where to direct their wrath. Mission accomplished!

No one tracks creeping delays, but there’s plenty of anecdotal evidence that they’re being used with greater frequency. In extreme cases, customers can be strung along for many hours.

You can avoid a creeping delay by refusing to play along. If you’re waiting for a flight to board, be aware of the rules about delays — which is to say, at some point during a mechanical delay, the airline owes you a meal and hotel — and don’t be shy about calling an airline’s bluff. The airline rules, also known as the contract of carriage, can be found on your carrier’s Web site.

2. At the hotel: a bad room at a bogus price
Imagine the worst possible room at a hotel. You know, the one between the elevator and ice machine, under the disco and above the kitchen. Who gets the keys to these coveted quarters? Why, you do — if you booked the room from the wrong site. Even the best properties routinely send guests who made reservations through a discount Web site to these hotel rooms from hell. The practice has been around for years, but with soaring hotel occupancy levels, anyone stuck in these undesirable accommodations are being given two choices: either accept the room or check out — and lose the money you prepaid for the room.

Worse than that — as if that isn’t bad enough — is that the rate you thought you were going to pay isn’t the real price. No, there are lodging taxes that are added to your bill, and they’re used to fund everything from new basketball arenas to wildlife museums. Add to that resort fees and plenty of unexpected little extras, such as surcharges for the delivery of faxes and parcels to your room.

If you’re booking your hotel room through a site called toogoodtobetruerooms.com and found a steal for $19 a night, then you should expect to get the worst room in the house.

Is there a way around it? Yes. Call ahead and tell them you’re a light sleeper or have mobility issues or have a pathological fear of ice machines. Anything to get you away from the worst room in the house. And while you’re at it, ask for a total price for your accommodations, so that you won’t be surprised when the bill is slipped under your door the morning before you check out.

3. On the road: a fake damage claim on your rental
Surprise surcharges are as common in the car rental business as they are at hotels. But you don’t find hotel staff combing through your room after you check out, to make sure you didn’t put a nick in your furniture or crack the toilet seat. But in a perverted effort to squeeze more money from their customers, that’s exactly what car rental companies are doing. They send an associate to look for any dings or dents and then mail you a bill, regardless of what they find.

There are at least two reasons why car rental companies send you fraudulent or inflated bills for damage to your car after you’ve returned a vehicle. First, they don’t care if you ever come back. They believe you will always make a purchasing decision based on price alone, so as long as they offer the lowest rate, they’ll get your business anyway. And second, and maybe more significantly, car rental companies just don’t know how to make money. Their margins are razor-thin, their fleets are difficult to manage, their employees are impossible to retain. The only way to make their numbers is go after you for a quick buck.

Fortunately, fighting back is relatively easy. A polite written response to a bill that you think isn’t legit, asking for additional proof, is often all it takes for the company to make a metaphorical U-turn. These types of car rental claims are often poorly documented. Just to show you mean business, CC the attorney general and the insurance commissioner for the state you rented the car in.


4. In a restaurant: a vindictive server
Look, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the best tipper. Think you’re any better? Then take this quiz. My score was a miserable 5 out of 15. I think the reason I’m bad at this is that no one ever tells us how much to tip. They leave it to our discretion, which is not a smart thing.

But that’s no excuse for the way in which some servers have been behaving lately. And I’m not just talking about the blog war over a 10 percent tip that recently broke out in Seattle. Stanley Roberts, who runs a terrific restaurant site called We8there says even fast food eateries have been hitting up their patrons for tips. “Oh give me a break,” he says.

Yes, give us a break.

Nothing ruins a restaurant meal like a server who is steamed at the last guest who didn’t tip enough. And if that doesn’t leave you with a bad taste in your mouth, imagine how you’ll feel when you’re outed on a site like Bitter Waitress or Lousy Tippers. I don’t think anyone can argue that the way in which service-industry employees are compensated in the United States is in desperate need of reform. Until then, those of use who don’t want to tip have the option of enjoying a home-cooked meal. Those of us who do, and aren’t sure how much to tip — there’s absolutely nothing wrong with asking.

5. At sea: a norovirus outbreak
When you put a lot of people into the same place, like a hospital, school or cruise ship, you’re going to have the inevitable outbreak of a gastrointestinal virus or two. But cruise ships seem to have more than their fair share, if media reports are to be believed. No vessel, not even the famed Queen Elizabeth 2, has been spared. To get an idea of how infection-prone your cruise ship is, check out the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s cruise line inspection reports. (Hint: click on “85 or lower” to get the names of the flunkies.)

The cruise industry insists it is doing its best to keep ships clean, and I want to believe it. But the reality is that during late winter, at the peak of the outbreak season, dozens of ships are ravaged by norovirus, and thousands of passengers are infected. Many guests are quarantined in their cabins and become virtual prisoners at sea. Short of the ship sinking, a gastrointestinal illness is probably the worst thing that can happen to you on a cruise. Believe me, I know. It’s happened to me.

How do you avoid an infection? Pick the cleanest ship (see the CDC scores), wash your hands frequently while you’re onboard and avoid the worst time of the year for outbreaks, which seems to be January through March.

In an earlier column, I talked about five rules that the industry should do away with. To which many of you responded, “You found just five?” Actually, there were many more. And I suspect you have a similar list of the worst things that can happen to you while you’re on the road. Send me an e-mail and let’s compare notes.

Every Monday, my column takes a close look at what makes the travel business tick. Your comments are always welcome, and if you can’t get enough of my column, drop by my blog for daily insights into the world of travel.

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5 things travelers aren’t grateful for

Air travel is affordable. The nation’s roads have never been safer. And hotels offer more amenities than ever.

Given all that, you would think travelers would be a grateful lot.

They aren’t.

Check out the latest customer surveys, and it’s clear that people are profoundly ungrateful when it comes to their travels. They give the airline industry worse grades than the Internal Revenue Service, they complain about traffic, and they gripe about high room rates.

So at a time of the year when everyone else seems to be giving thanks, the contrarian in me wonders: What are we not thankful about?


Inconsiderate travelers
They cut in line. They talk loudly on their cell phones. They travel with bratty children in tow. Where do these rude passengers come from? “They shout into their cell phones and talk loudly and are demanding to in-flight crews with gimmees ,” says Leonard Hansen, a writer from Bellingham, Wash. His theory is that airline deregulation, which made air travel more affordable, precipitated the “onslaught of the great unwashed,” which led to a sharp decline in civility among travelers. I think he’s right. These inconsiderate travelers are also likelier to complain for no good reason, says Gail Richardson, a nurse practitioner from Atlanta. “They feel that travel rules do not apply to them. They show up at the airport late, complain if they miss their flight, grumble about long security lines,” she says. “I am not thankful for them.”


Avaricious airlines
While it’s true that on average, airline ticket prices are remarkably affordable, it isn’t always the case. Airlines still price their tickets according to demand, and when a lot of people are flying, fares can really take off. “Even supposedly low-cost JetBlue is charging over $600 from Los Angeles to New York for the holidays,” gripes Steve Surjaputra, a technical support representative for an automobile software company in Los Angeles. “I found a cheaper fare — about $360 — on Delta.”

But wait, it gets worse. Business travelers who have to buy their tickets at the last minute or who don’t stay over a Saturday night sometimes get charged double or triple what everyone else pays. All that, for the same seat. Those kinds of pricing games make airline passengers like Surjaputra cringe. There ought to be a law ...


Resorts and their silly, silly, silly fees
Just as airlines can be shifty with their ticket prices, so, too, can hotels with their rates. And at times, even shiftier. Consider the experience of James Salter, an analyst for the state of Minnesota in Minneapolis. A year ago, he stayed at the Radisson Hotel and Suites Sydney, where high-speed Internet access was included in his room rate. He liked the resort so much, he booked a room for next year. But wait! “Now there’s a $24.95 per day charge for Internet access,” he says. “I've contacted corporate Radisson to find out why, and they say they’ve opened a file.”

Maybe instead of opening files, they should buy a clue. Internet access is widely considered a utility, like running water or power. Guests expect it. Charging for items like Internet access, the use of the exercise rooms, mandatory gratuities, and the like, are something no one is grateful for. Can I hear another “silly” please?


The Transportation Security Administration ...
Forget, for a moment, that there is no proof this $4.7-billion agency has protected us from terrorists, hijackers and bombs any better than the rent-a-cops that preceded them. And never mind that more than half a decade after 9/11, the agency can’t seem to detect explosives at its own airports. No, what troubles most airline passengers is that the TSA can’t seem to be consistent. “TSA screening is different no matter what airport you go through,” complains Kathleen Vigil, a human resources manager for a telecommunications company in Aurora, Colo. “Do TSA screeners want shoes on, shoes off, or they don’t care ... you choose! When you go through the metal detector, do you hold your boarding pass and identification in your hand where they have a visual, put your boarding pass in your pocket, or do they not care?” The answers are on the TSA Web site. Thanks, screeners, for taking the time to read it. Or not ...

And what it’s turned us into
You can’t really blame the TSA for this next one, at least not entirely. No, we probably did this to ourselves. “We’ve been reduced to quaking, shamed, fearful, cowardly sheep while traveling,” says Carole Jonas, a retired consultant from Whidbey Island, Wash. “Because if you even look cross or angry and you’re confronted by our esteemed TSA or airline employees, you could be branded as a troublemaker or purported terrorist, hauled away from your flight, questioned, harassed, tormented, perhaps handcuffed, arrested, or worse.” She makes a valid point. Travel — and air travel, in particular — used to be fun. It isn’t anymore. In fact, people dread traveling for a variety of reasons. The intrusive screenings. The airline crewmembers who are often on a power trip. The lack of basic amenities. Jonas traces a lot of it back to 9/11. “We’ve all become terrorized while traveling,” she says. “Thanks, terrorists, you’ve done your job well — mission accomplished.”

It doesn’t have to stay this way. I can remember a time not so long ago, when travel was a pleasure. If you’re having trouble remembering, or are just too young, check out the Northwestern University library collection of transportation menus which features 400 menus from 54 national and international airline carriers, cruise ships and railroad companies, from 1929 to the present. Ah, foie gras economy class. Meals served on real china. It illustrates how far we’ve fallen in such a short amount of time.

There’s hope, though. I think travelers can be grateful once again — if they have something to be grateful for. All they want is to travel with a little dignity. They don’t want to be afraid of their crewmembers or TSA screeners or fellow passengers. They don’t want to be hit with extra fees when they check out of their hotel. Is that asking too much?

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10 Ways To Avoid Air Travel Inconvenience

This has been the worst year ever in the United States for flight delays and cancellations. Planes are full, making it difficult to find a seat on another flight should your flight experience problems. Here are some tips from Airfarewatchdog.com to help you avoid inconvenience when you're traveling.


Avoid connecting flights altogether: They are the flyer's worst enemy. Yes, airlines often charge more for nonstops, but it's worth the extra money.

Build longer layovers: If there is no nonstop flight, then build extra time into your itinerary for the connection. Don't take the connecting flight that gives you just 45 minutes to change planes at a busy airport; instead, ask for a two to four-hour layover to make the connection. You may not be able to do this online, but rather you'll have to call a travel agent or the airline directly. Yes, it will cost you more (airlines charge extra to book over the phone, and travel agents charge too) but it's worth it. Hate longer layovers? Bring a good book. You'll hate spending two days on a cot at O'Hare even more, trust me.


Shun chronically late flights: Every domestic US flight is assigned a number from 1 to 10, with 1 meaning that the flight is historically on time between 0 and 10 percent of the time, and 10 meaning it is on time between 90 and 100 percent of the time. You can get this data on some airline sites, or call the airline to find it. Some flights are indeed late 100 percent of the time. Try to book only 9s and 10s.


Call your airline, frequently: Make sure you reconfirm that your flight is operating on time — or operating at all. Do this several weeks, several days, and several hours before your flight. I've heard so many stories from readers lately about airlines scrapping flights from their schedules entirely (not just canceling one flight, but the entire route or the entire flight schedule) and not notifying passengers until they got to the airport. I wouldn't rely on having the airline contact you, but if you wish, sure, give them your phone number, email address, and mobile phone number. Just don't bet your trip on the expectation that they'll call you.

Book the first flight of the day: Just as your doctor or dentist will see you on time if you're the first appointment, first-of-the-day flights tend to be on time as well.

Scout alternate flights: Know beforehand what your alternatives are on other airlines if you miss your connection or your initial outbound flight is canceled or delayed. Some airlines will put you on a competitor's next flight out if the "flight irregularity" (as they're called in airline-speak) was within their control (a mechanical problem, for instance). Others won't. If you fly frequently, you might want to carry a printed or PDA copy of the Official Airline Guide (at www.oag.com/) so you can propose alternate flights on the spot.

Line up, but call too: If your flight is canceled or delayed, get in line with the other unfortunates, but while waiting call the airline on your mobile phone to make other arrangements. By the time you get to the front of the line at the check in desk all the alternative seats may be booked.

Prepare for the worst: If all else fails, make sure that you (and your kids, if any) have books, games, and other distractions in your carry-on luggage. Many airlines sell day passes to their club lounges, a more attractive option than sitting at the gate listening to those awful TV and PA broadcasts.

Know your rights: If you are heading out to a wedding or other scheduled event (meeting, funeral, whatever), and you're going to miss it entirely because your outbound flight is canceled or delayed, the airline is required to refund you in full even if you have a non-refundable ticket. You do not have to pay for a now-futile trip.

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